Judges 4:1-5:31
Luke 22:35-53
Psalm 94:1-23
Proverbs 14:3-4
Today's reading has the story of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemene. In Catholicism I learned to call this moment in Jesus's life "The Agony in the Garden". We read how Jesus left his disciples, knelt down and prayed about the coming ordeal, asking He be relieved of the burden but resigning Himself to His Father's will. And agony it must have been, because we read that Jesus prayed so fervently, his prayer so deeply rooted and difficult, that his sweat was like blood.
It's called "hematohidrosis". An article in the Indian Journal of Dermatology describes it as "a very rare condition in which an individual sweats blood. It may occur in an individual who is suffering from extreme levels of stress…fear and intense mental contemplation are the most frequent causes." Then it goes on to describe how it works.
"Around the sweat glands, there are multiple blood vessels in a net-like form, which constrict under the pressure of great stress. Then, as the anxiety passes, the blood vessels dilate to the point of rupture and goes into the sweat glands. As the sweat glands produce a lot of sweat, they push the blood to the surface, which comes out as droplets of blood mixed with sweat."
Wait a minute: you sweat blood "as the anxiety passes"? I thought Jesus sweat blood WHILE he was struggling and afraid. He had yet to face the agony, the separation from the Father, the death on the cross. How could his anxiety already have passed? Even better, how do I do the same - how do I find peace, how do I let my anxiety, my worry, my fear, my terror pass - even before I've faced the cause of all my fear? The good news is, today's reading gives us an answer. The bad news is, if you're like me, it isn't going to be easy.
The first thing Jesus does is separate from the world and pray. That is two difficult things for me - separation and prayer. I find it difficult to clear my mind of everything I feel is urgent and focus my attention on God.
The second thing Jesus does is surrender - "yet not My will, but Yours be done." Ok, as tough as #1 was for me, this one is even harder: to surrender, to submit, even when I don't like what's coming, I don't understand what's coming, I don't agree with what's coming, and I can think of any number of alternatives. To say, "I don't get it, but You know better, so let's do it Your way." I struggle just asking for directions. The threat of pain, of death, of hardship and difficulty for myself and my loved ones - surrender? Really really difficult. But I have to try.
The third thing Jesus does, even AFTER an angel has come and strengthened Him, is PRAY SOME MORE. Not launch myself back into the fight, not seek out what needs to be done. PRAY. SOME MORE. Reinforce the pillars of strength the angel built with more communion with the Source of that strength.
Father, amidst all that is going on, teach us to pray, surrender, then pray some more. Remind us when our foot slips, that Your unfailing love supports us; when anxiety is great within us, Your consolation will bring us joy. Then grant that our anxiety might pass, as it did with Your Son, even before our time of crisis has ended. We pray this in Jesus's name.
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