March 19

Numbers 28:16-29:40

Luke 3:23-38

Psalm 62:1-12

Proverbs 11:18, 19

Let all that I am wait quietly before God,

   for my hope is in him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation,

   my fortress where I will not be shaken.

My victory and honor come from God alone.

   He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can

   reach me.

O my people, trust in him at all times.

   Pour out your heart to him,

   for God is our refuge.

~Psalm 62:5-8~

I have been struggling with something for the past several weeks and at times it feels like a battle is going on inside me. I keep making the mistake of trying to figure this situation out on my own. I do it without even realizing it: I plan my next move, I complain about how it's not fair, I dwell in my defeated attitude... All these things I'm doing on my own. I think I know the best way to go, I think I know what's fair and what's not, I think that there is no possible way for it to get better. I'm doing all these things in my own power and I am falling flat on my face.

All this time, I dwell and I complain and I plan and I'm not listening. God is trying to tell me something and it's right there in Psalm 62: "He alone is my rock and my salvation... My victory and honor come from God alone." This whole time I've been struggling and miserable and trying to make something happen and trying to gain a victory for myself and it's not working. I will always fall on my face when it's about me, when it's done with my own power. He alone is my salvation, He alone is my refuge, He alone is my hope, He alone is my victory. All this struggling... and all I had to do from the beginning was to let go, be quiet, and wait for God to work. 

I've been a Christian for most of my life and this is still something I have trouble grasping. That it's not about me, that I can't accomplish anything with my own power, that it's not about my honor or my achievements. God is my refuge and my rock where no enemy can reach me. If I let Him, He will fight and win all my battles for me because He is my victory and my strength. I will not be shaken, not because I am strong, but because He is.

This song sums this all up for me. I hope you enjoy it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNW26pMe7aU