January 20, 2009

WARNING: You’re about to read the thoughts of a 22 year old as he reads the bible. I tell you that because my journals have always been something I’ve used to record not only what goes on through my mind as I read, but also how it has been or currently is applying to my life. This might not agree with your thoughts and to be honest, that’s just ok. I hope you might benefit from this, and that you realize that not everyone who reads the bible will have the insight of a scholar and vise versa.

Now, I’m 22 so I have yet to experience a lot of things in life. I do however remember all the videos that they showed me in school about the war. Some of the videos were fictional, biographies and some were real footage. These videos were neat because they always broke my heart in like any other way. You might be sitting there asking yourself: “what videos is he referring to?” I’m referring to the videos of the families that received the news that their loved ones have become P.O.W.’s, they aren’t sure of their circumstances and worst of all they are not sure if they are alive or not. At that moment the housewife, the mother, the father and/or the siblings’ life changes dramatically. It is one thing to tell someone that their loved ones are dead, but it is another thing to tell a loved one that they have no idea what has happened to their loved ones.

Time goes by and the mourning continues; yet they still hold on to hope, for some it is in vain. Days, Months and years go by and you still have no clue on the status of your loved one. Your life has changed and you have accustomed yourself to the lifestyle of one less in the family. Kids have grown, memories have been made, and things have changed, but your loved one had no part of those things because due to their absence. You have endured struggles and heartaches yet regardless you still check the mail, answer the phone and the door with hopes that news will arrive about your loved one. You do not want to think like a pessimist but you sure start to feel like one.

Then comes that day, that one day that you gave up on long ago. The day where you received a representative of Uncle Sam at your front door step to tell you “your husband/brother/son was found and he is safe and is on his way back to the U.S. You can meet him at this airport” Your heart sinks and you want to weep bitterly in joy, but it feels like you are out of tears from the endless nights of crying. You manage to get some out and you jump for joy. You rush to get ready to go meet your loved one. – This is the part where your eyes become watery as your watching this on video—You make it to the airport and you see anywhere between 100 to 500 soldiers. It has been so long that you’re not even sure what this person may look like by now, but you have this image in your mind, a crystal clear one.

Out of nowhere your heart sinks and you realize that you have just locked your eyes on the individual you have been looking for. There is no mistake in this and no one can ruin this moment. You run and embrace this individual. A squeal is heard from across the room from the tears of excitement. Time freezes and suddenly you feel complete.

Those are the memories that came into my mind as I read this story. I have read the story of Joseph several times, but it never seems to get old. Every time I read it my imagination allows me to see it a little more vividly than the last time. However, no matter how many times I read it I’m never going to be able to understand what it must have been like to go through all those struggles. To be separated from your family due to the hatred of your brother, to see your brothers and over look the anger you have toward them, and to realize that God had a hand in it and admit that it had nothing to do with you. That’s a beautiful thing.

Lesson:
What is too big for God? None. I can’t deny the fact that there have been tons of times where I sit there and believe that God ignores my prayers, overlooks my pain and kicks dirty in my face. I’m others have felt this way too. I’m going to guess that Joseph felt this way certain days.
Looking back at all those times I realize that God loves me. That he did not forget about me, overlook me or kick anything in my face. Instead, he waited and made me learn patience and now has shown me that his time is always perfect (though at times I feel like it’s not). Nothing is too distant from the reach of God and my problems will never be anything new to God. He has seen it all and understands all.

Above all, out some a bad situation something good can always come out of it. We must learn to realize that like Joseph we must always hold on to God and trust him. He has a purpose behind everything he does.

I hope this was helpful and somewhat grammatically correct. My thoughts are hard to write down so this was the best I could do.