Sunday, November 4

" I will remove from them their heart  of stone and give them a heart of flesh. " Ezekiel 11:19

I am so glad that God knows our hearts so well, so intimately. The other day, during my prayer time,  God challenged me to set  aside 10 minutes and pray only for myself. No need to give thanks, or worship, just focus exclusively on self.

Torturous and awkward 10 minutes, but God showed me few things:

☐ My prayers were always so focused on others, because I needed them to be ok in order for me to be ok. Also, by focusing on them, I didn't need to look too closely at myself. Codependency?Idolatry? Or maybe just God saying: Child, there is a better way! People come and go from our lives but God never leaves us. It is much safer to build our well being on Him, rather than on human beings, no matter how much we love them. He promises never to leave us, never to abandon us. He is the absolute true love! He is our true Parent! 

☐ What is going to happen if I let go of control? How things are going to turn out? Is everyone going to make it?  I do understand intellectually that control is nothing but an illusion. It's the familiar evil. Control equals playing God.  Yet many times  out of fear, and need to protect others and myself, I go back to it. Letting go of control is inviting God to come in. It's allowing the infinite wisdom and love to invade my tiny universe. It's about saying "Yes" to the most influential Person in the universe.

☐ Mark Batterson in his book, Whisper, writes that God communicates with us through our desires.  During those 10 minutes of self -focused  prayer, I realized that I felt somehow guilty to talk about my wishes and desires. Somewhere along te way, I've learnt that to have desires before God is selfish, and therefore  should be avoided. Could it be that, when we ignore to present our wishes and desires to the Lord and to ourselves, we block an important channel of communication with God?

☐ What would it mean to live a life with God from the heart? A heart based relationship with Him?  Without all those  "shoulds". I heard a lot of those during my time with God. You should thank Him now, you should say something about His power, you should worship.  I find it comforting that God is  truth, and that  He sees straight into my heart. He is a safe place to practice authenticity.  

Lord, please touch our hearts, and make them completely in tune with You! 

#blog