April 6 - I just don't get it...

Deuteronomy 29:1-30:20

Luke 11:37-12:7

Psalm 78:1-31

Proverbs 12:19-20

"I just don't get it."  I have felt that a lot - as a teenage son once, as a husband, now as the father of my own teenager (a daughter, in fact).  And don't get me started about work - I am a stock broker, and after 18 years in the business, you'd think I'd have some idea which way the market or a stock was going to go.  But no - often I am no better than a roll of the dice.  Is the Dow going up or down?  You might as well ask me as toss a coin.  This is particularly true in my relationship with God.  For all He has done for me in the past, things that today I can clearly see have come from His hand, I continue to struggle to be obedient.  Even now, writing this, He has laid something heavy on my heart which, because I choose to give a friendship greater importance, I struggle to obey, to write the email and communicate with my friend as He wants.

What comfort to know I am in good company.  The Israelites didn't get it either.  They were so bad at getting it that Moses had to tell them "your eyes have seen all that the Lord did in Egypt to Pharaoh....with your own eyes you saw those great trials...but TO THIS DAY  the Lord has not given you a mind that understands or eyes that see or ears that hear.

The Pharisees didn't get it either - and their tradition of scriptural scholarship was a lot older than my 18 years in the business.  Despite all that experience, they still got the basics wrong.  They focused on the external, forgetting what was inside a person defined him much more clearly; they tithed out of their wallets, but the gifts did not ultimately come from their hearts.  And when their convictions were challenged by Jesus's teaching, regardless of the fruit of His teaching and His work, they "began to oppose Him fiercely and to besiege Him with questions, waiting to catch Him in something He might say."

What don't I get?  I typically still do not get the nature of my relationship with God.  Moses made it pretty clear - "I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to Him, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws..."  Moses didn't say "discuss with, and come to an agreement with God about which laws you will obey" or "demand an explanation of His commands before you agree" or " insist on understanding why God wants you to do something before obeying".  Moses said love God and obey Him.   

I don't want to hurt my friend.  I don't want to lose the friendship.  But the fact is, I need to remember that by choosing friendship over my relationship with Him, my "heart turns away and [I] am not obedient...[and am] drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them."  Yes, something as seemingly well intentioned, something as innocuous as not wanting to hurt a friend, if it goes against what He has clearly demanded, is tantamount to bowing down to the god of friendship and worshiping it.

I am scared of losing the friendship.  But I would like the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and the mind and heart to know that I really should not "be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more."  Instead, I should "fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell."  And then, when I get it, when we get it, we would "put [our] trust in God and would not forget His deeds, but would keep His commands".

Excuse me.  I need to go send another email.