October 24: Of Three Questions

Jeremiah 44:24-47:7

2 Timothy 2:22-3:17

Psalm 94:1-23

Proverbs 26:6-8

2 Timothy 3:1-9 is too long a passage to write in this blog word for word, so I will ask you to read it instead.  And if you've read all of today's passages listed above, please go back and read it again.  It will be easy to read it and think of every single person you have ever observed behave in this manner.  Loving themselves, loving money, boastful, proud, abusive…treacherous and rash, even.  

You know what is harder for me?  But, in truth, what would be more productive?  Seeing how much, how often, and how deeply I've violated all those warnings myself.  As easy as it is to see these faults in others, introspection is difficult, and far too often our point of view is too close to see ourselves for what we are.  What to do?

In this regard, I fall back on lessons from Pastor Peter Tan-Chi, the lead pastor of the church my parents back home in Manila attend.  He says that in order to develop and grow our relationships with those who know us, whom we love - our children, in particular, in his example- we should regularly ask them three questions:

• How can I improve?
• How have I hurt you?
• Will you please forgive me?

Pastor Peter discussed these in the context of improving a parent's relationship with their children.  I think they are applicable not just in that direction, but in all 360 degrees around us - to parents as well as children, friends as well as relatives.  The thing is, these questions will serve no purpose if in our response we seek to justify ourselves or defend our actions.  They only work if (1) we are willing to listen, however painful the answers, however much we might disagree; and (2) we are willing to humble ourselves, recognize that, though we might not have intended to, we will have hurt those we love, and ask their forgiveness.  

I might also add that this is a really good conversation to have in yet another direction - upwards.  I suggest that these are questions we should be asking our Father in heaven every single day, listening for His answers, taking them to heart, and letting them bear fruit in action and transformation.

Father, grant us the grace to focus not on the flaws of others, but on our own.  Give us the courage to seek others' input, the willingness to accept their observations, and the humility to seek their forgiveness.  Even more so, help us to have these conversations with You.