September 7: Of Dependence, Redemption and Transformation

Song of Songs 5:1-8:14

2 Corinthians 9:1-15

Psalm 51:1-19

Proverbs 22:24-25

There are many psalms I pray, but there is none I need more than Psalm 51.  I need it more than the instruction of, say, Philippians 4:4, because there are times I DO rejoice in the Lord.  But while I am sometimes obedient to the instructions there, and in other psalms, I am always a sinner.  And so I constantly need Psalm 51. 

I've prayed it so often, but today, thinking on it, I realized something: it isn't just a psalm of repentance, it is a declaration of dependence.  While the author repents, nowhere in psalm does he say his repentance triggers forgiveness.  His repentance is merely a statement of fact, a recognition of his unworthiness.  

For I know my transgressions

   And my sin is always before me.

Against You, You only, have I sinned

   And done what is evil in Your sight

And:

"Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

You see, the author recognizes the redemption is COMPLETELY in God's hands.  He asks God to cleanse him with hyssop, to wash him, to hide His face from the author's sins and blot out the author's iniquity.  He knows he cannot change his heart, so he asks God to change it for him.  And he pleads that God remain with Him.  Confession and repentance depend on the sinner, but his redemption, his transformation?  They are completely dependent on God.

This is a difficult lesson for me.  I want to be able to work out my own salvation.  The problem is, every time I try to change, I find the old sins lurking in the recesses of my heart and mind, waiting to pounce when I least expect it.  I am too weak to completely defeat my sins.  But in my frustration, this is also a relief - that I do NOT have to depend on my inadequacy and imperfection.  Because after my repentance and confession, redemption and transformation come from God.

Father, you know I can be persistently stubborn.  When I insist on working out my salvation on my own, remind me that only You can do that, and that all You want from me is a simple admission of the truth of my sinfulness and dependence upon you.