An Unshrinking Faith
"By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. he chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking head to his reward." Hebrews 11:24-26
When we look at Moses' life we see that growing up he had it all; wealth, power, education, position and honor. He didn't want for any earthly treasure as living in Pharaoh's house afforded him anything he could dream of. Then quickly and suddenly one day the snares of life happened and Moses committed a crime that could not be erased from earthly history or his memory, he killed a man and not just any man but a fellow Egyptian. In fear Moses ran from his comfy life of prestige and honor and found himself in the desert where he met his wife and settled down to live out the rest of his days in modesty and quiet. He fled the fulfilling life of glory from personal satisfaction and left behind the shame of his past. Moses could now live in the comfort of obscurity and anonymity.
But God had a very different plan. He spoke to Moses and told him that obscurity was not the life He intended for him. Moses was to face those whose honor he once had but would have no longer. He was to return and face the shame of his past. He would move forward by confronting what lie behind him. All he would have with him would be a faith and hope in God to help move him forward. Before Moses could be used by God to bring freedom to the enslaved Israelites he first needed to experience a personal freedom from his past, from his fears. Before he could encourage others to have an unwavering faith in God he first had to learn how to be sure of what he hoped for and certain of what he could not see (Heb 11:1), he needed to learn how to trust and have faith in his God.
Like most of those listed in the hall of fame of faith in Hebrews 11, Moses had to learn how to let go of the things of this world that he clung to. He had too let go of those things that brought earthly comfort, a false sense of hope, earthly confidence, personal honor, and to give up the power struggle, which is control, of his life and the life of others to God.
I personally like the comfort of the familiar. I like routine. I like living under the radar in a very unassuming life. I enjoy convenience and comfort. I like the feeling of being in control of my life and surroundings. I don't like the idea of people thinking poorly of me and not seeing me for the genuine person I know I truly am. I too have things in my past that I wish could stay neatly hidden in the darkness, undisturbed and unprovoked. This is why Moses story of faith is so biting to me. His story of faith scares me because it feels so personal yet it is also so appealing as you can see the freedom that it brought to his life. Not only was freedom found in his own life but it gave opportunity to him to be used by God to bring freedom to so many others in a way that would never have been possible if he continued to live under the power of Pharaoh's house or in the obscurity of the desert with his new family. He made a conscious choice to not shrink back and stay hidden but to emerge from the shadows of shame and safety in order to be used by God. If that meant to suffer as a slave to those he once received honor from then so be it. If that meant to give up the comforts and control of this earthly life then that too was fine with him. His faith brought a freedom that no earthly power could take from him. I want this faith and this freedom but what it took for Moses to obtain it can often times scare me and that fear holds me back.
Hebrews 10:39 struck me at the end of Saturday's reading,
"But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved."
Moses didn't quickly agree to returning to his past. He made excuses and basically said no at first. He started to shrink back. His fears put him on the threshold of disobedience. But rather than shrink back and say no and try and save himself (save his honor and dignity with man) he eventually (and I would venture to think with a bit of anxiety and fear) said yes to God. The result? God gave him freedom from his past and used him in mighty ways to help bring faith and freedom to a nation. He may have lost the honor of those with whom he once had it, but he gained the honor found in having a faith in God that gave him support, encouragement, hope, and joy despite what was going on around him.
I wish I could say that I am a woman who doesn't shrink back from faith but, unfortunately, the truth is I am a shrinker. Fear, uncertainty, doubt, loss of control (or what I perceive as control) hold me back from being the woman of faith that God so eagerly desires me to be. I too stand at the threshold of disobedience to my God. He is calling me to come out from the shadows of fear and failure, from shame and regret and to be saved from those fears, to take hold of the faith he has been calling me to. He wants me, like Moses, to experience personal freedom in my faith so that I can be used fully for the Lord.
I have no idea if any of you can relate to what I have shared. I do know this though, I don't want to live a faith that shrinks back. I want to be an encouragement and a support to any and all who are struggling. I believe Christ came to love those with a past, with shame, with regret and to set them free with a faith that is found only in Him. I believe he has called the church (which is the body of believers) to love others (all others) in this same way, without judgement or condemnation. To let our past be seen and the freedom God has given us so that we can help others stop living a life shrunk in the shadows and to help bring them into the freedom that God has so graciously provided for us. So I encourage anyone who feels trapped in the shadows of life to know you are not alone and that you are loved not just by God but by me as well. I am here if you need an ear to listen, a word to encourage, or arms to hold you and let you know that God has you and he is calling you to him.
If you have already experienced this complete freedom for yourself I am delighted for you. I encourage you to help those who have yet to take hold of it. Don't look with eyes of judgement or speak with mouths of gossip as that only helps keeps us shrunk back in the shadows. Pray and ask the lord to use you and your freedom of faith, like he did Moses, to help those still stuck in the shame and regret and fears of their past. Pray for God to give you a heart of compassion and grace. Be the light of faith and hope to whomever God places in your path.
I too want my name added to this list of the hall of fame of faith not for my glory but because it will mean that my life was surrendered completely to the Lord and I was used by him to help others who struggled with shrinking back in the darkness of life. I hope and pray that your name will be there too!
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