"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
I first heard these verses in Romania, while I was watching the funeral of Princess Diana. One of my friends recognized the lines, as being from the Bible. I remember being very surprised that the Bible would have such beautiful statements about love. Since then, I came to love 1 Corinthians 13. I read it many times, and I wrote it, on many engagement and wedding cards. When all is well around me, these verses are so beautiful and easy to follow!
Yet, when faced with challenges in my relationships, I find myself wanting, nothing to do, with these guidelines for love. All of a sudden, they lose their beauty. The feelings of annoyance, frustration, impatience, become a priority. In spite of knowing that, feelings are not facts, they seem to overwhelm the entire picture. Like the Apostle Paul was saying: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do". ( Romans 7:15).
So how can I get myself aligned with God and not my feelings? Feelings can, and will show up, but they don't have to dictate my reality or prevent me from taking the right action. God calls us to love each other "not with words or speech but with actions and in truth". (1 John 3:18), Love is an action not a feeling. When dealing with feelings, I need to remember that in Christ, I've been set free. As a free person I have choices, and that includes how I manage my feelings. I am not a prisoner of my feelings. I've discovered that:
- I can pray even when I don't feel like it. When I'm upset about something, or someone, all I want to do, is focus on what bothers me. The "problem", becomes a strong whirlwind that engulfs everything around me. Prayer brings God in. Our God, is a God, that can calm any storm. Obsessing over our circumstances, will leave us deprived, but pulling close to God, will bring healing for ourselves and our relationships.
- I can write my feelings down without censoring myself. What am I going to hide from God? I very often write to God, and pray for His truth, and His Word to be revealed to me. The most powerful weapon in the world is the Word of God.
- Instead of spending time, thinking and rethinking, I can engage in a physical activity that will get me out of my head, and would potentially give me a new perspective on things.
- Talking to someone from my support group. "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." (James 5:16)
Lord help us to love you, and to love one another, according to your will.
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