October 1

Isaiah 62-65
Philippians 2:19-3:3
Psalm 73:1-28
Proverbs 24:13,14

From Psalm 73:
"Look at these wicked people - enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply
Did I keep my heart pure for nothing?
Did I keep myself innocent for no reason?
I get nothing but trouble all day long;
every morning brings me pain....
Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside...
My health my fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart;
He is mine forever."

Earlier this year, a word stuck in my head and I couldn't stop thinking about it. The word was bitter. Bitter, bitter. bitter. This kept going through my mind and it took me a little while to figure out that God put it there. God gave me this word because He wanted me to learn something from Psalm 73.

The first part of Psalm 73, there are complaints about the wicked and how they seem to prosper despite doing what is wrong. Doesn't God see what they're doing? Why is He allowing them to get away with it? Why am I suffering even though I'm doing the right thing? This isn't fair.

Then there is verse 21. This is the reason that God put the word bitter in my head. This is what He wanted me to learn. "Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside." I was that person in the beginning of Psalm 73 who was complaining about other people. Why hadn't they gotten what they deserve? Why don't they understand what they've done wrong to me? I was holding on to things in the past, times when other people had hurt me and I felt that the outcome was unfair to me.

God was trying to warn me: "If you continue to focus on other people and on what you think they deserve and on what you think you deserve, then your heart will turn bitter. Is that what you want?"

I could hear myself arguing with God. "But God, what about what they've done that's wrong? What about what they've done to me?"

And God answered me: "It doesn't matter. You have to let it go. I will take care of it and I will take care of you. I am enough for you. You have to let it go or your heart will turn bitter."

This has been a hard lesson for me to learn because I don't easily let go of things. I can remember an argument I had with someone and be right back in the same emotions that I was feeling then... even if it was years ago. God was warning me that if I continue to hold on to past hurts and things I think are not fair, I will do nothing except hurt myself. He doesn't need me to worry about other people's outcome. He has is all worked out and He doesn't need my help in dealing with other people. He has it all under control. All I need is Him because His strength is enough for me. Again, this has not been easy, but I am learning.

Let it go because God is enough for me.