THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2019
“They came to Capernaum. When he [Jesus] was in the house, he asked them, ‘What were you arguing about on the road?’ But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.
“Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, ‘Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.’” (Mark 9:33-35)
“Sin is not ended by multiplying words,
but the prudent hold their tongues.” (Proverbs 10:19)
Do you enjoy poignant memes and t-shirts? Their short phrases’ ability to capture deep truth can amuse us or pique our anger. Some t-shirts contain messaging that reveals the inner heart of the person wearing them. Recently, we have been chuckling in our home about a t-shirt that reads: “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.” How true!
As we head into arguments, we often resemble the disciples in their argument about which among them had achieved the greatest position. In fact, our posture and attitude in these discussions echoes their pride and desire to come out on top. We rarely enter arguments seeking truth or mutual edification. We typically wish to influence, cajole, or even shut down the other parties.
In Mark 8:34-38, Jesus gave His call to discipleship: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” (8:34) The Way of the Cross -- the path Jesus set before us and lived Himself -- requires self-denial. Here, we read that living up to our calling involves a servant’s heart and an attitude of humility. These two approaches are clearly interrelated: by denying the self, we may embrace the glory of God and the blessing of others as our objectives. Otherwise, we remain trapped in our own selfishness and agenda.
Yet, we know that arguments will come. We have several action steps that may allow us to maximize these moments for God’s Kingdom:
(1) Avoid pointless arguments. Oftentimes, pettiness draws us into conversations that all parties will later regret.
(2) Listen well. As the Proverb explains, multiplying our words is likely not the answer. In fact, our words may further embroil us.
(3) Ask thought-provoking questions. “How did that make you feel?” “What do you see as a potential resolution?” “From your perspective, what am I missing?”
(4) Shorten the argument. Dwelling and rehashing the same points -- or even points from previous arguments -- rarely leads to fresh and successful outcomes.
(5) Be willing to step back. There may be times where considering one another’s points of view may be more effective than further argument.
(6) Remember the greater purpose of family and community. Paul’s counsel in Colossians 3:12-14 covers this best: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
(7) Focus on the glory of God and the blessing of others. How could your flexibility in this situation serve the Kingdom? What does “success” mean in light of God’s glory and others’ flourishing?
(8) Stand firm in the Truth. Despite the forgoing, please be careful to remain faithful to God’s Word. Affirm His character and goodness, and acknowledge Him as your King.
May we honor God and serve others in times of disagreement!
Lord Jesus, thank You for your clear teaching on living humbly and honoring others through a servant’s attitude. Change our hearts from the inside out, and prepare us to love others even in the midst of arguments. Prepare our hearts to receive Your presence today, and guide and direct us by Your Spirit so that we might be a blessing. We love You and honor You today. In Your mighty Name, amen.
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