January 25: Of H's - HardHeadedness, Hope, Hallelujah

Genesis 50:1-Exodus 2:10

Matthew 16:13-17:9

Psalm 21:1-13

Proverbs 5:1-6

The Old and New Testament readings today are a source of hope to one as hardheaded as I; are of such great encouragement in my frustrating, persistent sinfulness.  In the Old Testament, I was astounded to see how Joseph's brothers seemed incapable of learning their lesson.  They found themselves afraid for their lives because they sinned - they sold their brother into slavery - and here, after God had blessed them despite, and even as a result, of their sinfulness, they were scheming again; to protect themselves after their father's death, they felt compelled to scheme once more, telling Joseph his father had left instructions he was to forgive them what they'd done.  God blessed them abundantly with prosperity in a time of want, and they fell back into their old, sinful ways. 

Peter's story is much the same - a physically strong man, full of unanchored bravado, he didn't just receive food in a time of need, he received revelation from God: a far greater blessing.  For all that everyone else had seen of Jesus, it was only to him at that time that God appears to have disclosed Who Jesus was, exactly.  What a gift!  Yet shortly thereafter, what does he do?  He falls back into his old ways, the proud ways where he justifies his "I know better than Jesus" attitude with good intentions, the desire to protect Him (and, consequently, protect himself - the student was supposed to follow the rabbi, wasn't he?).  

Despite his sinfulness, which Peter manifest in even worse way when he first abandoned, then thrice denied Jesus, we know God changed his heart and used him powerfully.  He never stopped being a sinner, but I can only conclude that his changed relationship with God did not only give him the strength to go on during difficult times, it gave him the impetus to return when he sinned.  And despite their deceitfulness - and I doubt they ever stopped being sinners as well -  we know God blessed the Israelites with great abundance in Egypt despite the Egyptians' efforts to subdue them, and even saw fit to pass His only Son's genealogy through one of Israel's own sons - Judah.

When I am aware of how God has blessed, me, so very often I am frustrated by the persistence of my sinfulness despite his blessing, and am tempted to conclude I am unworthy, a lost cause.  What a blessing to know God has redeemed, changed, and seen fit for use other others like myself, like ourselves, sinners despite His abundant blessing.  I pray we remember that, so that rather than let our sinfulness discourage us, we let it remind us of our perfect and perpetual need for Him, and of His perfect and perpetual mercy.  Despite my hardheadedness, He gives me hope - hallelujah!