November 3

Forgiveness

In his short story entitled, "The Capital of the World," Ernest Hemingway tells about the troubled relationship between a father and a teenage son. Their relationship became strained, and then it shattered when the son ran away from home. His father, moved by compassion, began a journey in search of his rebellious son. Finally, in Madrid, Spain, the father, as a last resort, put an ad in the local newspaper. His son's name was Paco, which is a very common name in Spain. The ad read: Dear Paco, meet me in front of the newspaper office tomorrow at noon; all is forgiven, I love you. Your father. As Hemingway writes, the next day at noon there were 800 Pacos in front of the newspaper office all seeking forgiveness and grace.

From my limited perspective as a pastor, I would estimate that 90% of the pain in life is relational. We hurt each other in our families. Husbands and wives do terrible, hurtful things to each other. Parents and children disconnect just as Hemingway wrote about. Kids are cruel and bully each other in school. In the work place and in friendships we hurt each other with words and actions. Even in church we can say and do things that damage one another.

So if 90% of pain is relational, how are we ever going to bring healing to our hearts and our relationships? The only answer is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the only ointment that heals relational pain.

From our reading of Matthew 18 and the parable of the servants in debt, we receive the most powerful instruction on how to experience true relational healing. The ointment that heals is understanding the relationship between horizontal and vertical forgiveness.

The first debt of 10,000 talents would be equivalent to 10 million dollars. Now that is a little more than I make as a pastor, but it is less than half of what Alex Rodriquez makes as a Yankee. The truth is 2000 years ago nobody could have that much money because it was more money than was used in the entire world. We are told that the entire annual revenue into the Roman coffers all over the globe was approximately 850,000 dollars. With 850,000 dollars you could pay all the judges, all the road builders, all the armies of the Roman Empire, all the politicians, all the teachers, and still have plenty left over for free bread, circuses and stadiums.

So why would Jesus pick a number so outrageous? He did it to give us a picture of our vertical debt with God. We have a debt with God that we can never repay. Sin is cosmic treason. Nothing we can do can reverse its consequences. We have offended God. His holiness demands payment for our sins.
But Jesus, in his love, went over to that ledger and ripped out the pages with our debt, a debt that we cannot pay. He said he would pay for them. So he went to the cross and died with our ledger nailed to his cross. Now we stand before the king of heaven debt free.

The second figure of 100 denarii would be equivalent to 100 bucks. This is the picture of every horizontal debt we have on earth. That is why we must forgive every horizontal debt that occurs in life, even if we must do it 77 times. This is a hard teaching but God requires it because of the vertical forgiveness we have received from Him. Realizing the extent of our vertical forgiveness directly impacts our generosity with horizontal forgiveness.

So who do you need to forgive today? Here are 7 steps to practically apply the ointment of forgiveness to your heart.

1. Take a sheet of paper and write out the names of the people who have offended you. Describe the specific wrong you suffered. Generic forgiveness produces generic healing.

2. Acknowledge the vertical forgiveness you have experienced from God. Thank him for the cross and the enormous debt he paid.

3. Decide that you will bear the burden of each person's sin on your list. This means you will not retaliate in the future by using this information about their sin against them. All true forgiveness is substitutionary in nature, just as Christ's forgiveness of us was.

4. Decide to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice, a crisis of the will. Since God requires us to forgive, it is something we can do. Don't wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving; you might never get there. We need to make the choice to forgive. What will be gained is freedom, not a feeling.

5. Pray and forgive each person for every specific hurt and pain they caused in your life. Then release your right to seek revenge. Choose to release all bitterness and anger and ask God to heal your damaged emotions.

6. Be sure to accept your part in the conflict. If you have any blame in the disconnection confess this to God and to the other person if possible.

7. Finally, destroy the list and expect positive results of forgiveness in your life.

May God give us all strength to follow this pathway of freedom.