May 21

Friday accountability day

Proverbs 13:3 He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.

One of the leading icons of our day died because people did not pay attention to this verse. The story of Pat Tillman is captured in the recent book by Jon Krakauer, “Where Men Win Glory.” Pat was serving with his Ranger squad in Afghanistan in April of 2004. Due to the break down of a Humvee, their squad was divided in two, one squad was assigned to take the vehicle back to headquarters and the second squad to check out a local village for Taliban fighters. When the first squad encountered difficulty in moving the Humvee, they ended up reversing their course and following in the exact path of the second squad, just traveling it approximately fifteen minutes later. During their journey, the first squad came under mortar attack and Pat Tillman’s squad started running back to assist them in the battle. That is when the communication broke down and everyone started speaking rashly. In military terms it is called “Hot Miking.” It is the situation when people in conflict all start talking at the same time and stop listening. This phenomenon instantly jams the entire communication network and it creates radio gridlock that can persist for hours. The tendency is during conflict to hold down the talk button and not to listen to others. Because of lack of listening, the second squad did not know the guys running along the ridge above them were friendlies, and thus Pat was shot by his own friends. What a tragedy for people on the same side, people who are supposed to be brothers and sisters, to inflict such pain on one another. But that is what happens when communication breaks down.

Right now you probably find yourself in some conflict in your life. The words from today’s reading could spare your relationship:

Proverbs 18:13 He who answers before listening--that is his folly and his shame.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Some steps to stop “Hot Miking.”
1. Look into the eyes of the person talking to you.
2. Listen with both ears and don’t speak until they are done with their sentence.
3. Repeat and confirm what you heard them say.
4. If you don’t have the correct message say these words, “Help me understand.”
5. In the end it is much better to understand then to seek to be understood. (Assisi)